Review – Condemned: Criminal Origins

Publisher: Sega
Developer: Monolith Productions
Platform(s): Xbox 360, PC
Genre: First-Person Action, Horror

Rating: Mature 17+
ESRB Content Descriptors: Blood and Gore, Intense Violence, Strong Language

The Scoop: Fun and addictive hobo bashing action exclusively for the Xbox 360!

The Setup: Dreaming has become a very routine process while maturing through our teenage years into adulthood. Just about everybody I know has had a dream at one point in their lives. Whether it’s to become an astronaut, a professional wrestler or the next Babe Ruth, we’ve all had dreams. But have any of you had the dream to completely obliterate a whole city full of ruthless drug addicts and hobos? If so, then your best bet would be to completely skip the real thing and get the next best thing by picking up a copy of Condemned: Criminal Origins.

Don’t look forward to many guns

Speaking honestly, not many games have creeped me out in a whole. Certain things have given me the sudden urge to shit my pants before but nothing has ever come close to being as freaky as this. Wait until about midnight, turn out the lights and play some of Condemned and you’ll be lucky if you get through five minutes without changing games. This has happened to me several times even though I’ve played and beaten the game more then once.

The story of Condemned is stellar but nothing amazing. You’re going to assume the role of agent Ethan Thomas who becomes a pawn in a vicious turn of events all dealing with a dark and gruesome underworld filled with drug addicts, hobos and killers all wanting to rip your heart out. Who plays these kinds of games for a strong story though? On to the hobo bashing!

The gameplay and environments is where a lot of the games strength comes from. Most of the environments we’ll find ourselves exploring will consist of a dark and abandoned subway, a dark and abandoned school, a dark and abandoned library, a dark and abandoned hotel and a dark and abandoned farm. Not in that order of course.

Brutal enemies in dark environments is common

The number of achieveable weapons is massive as well as you can “murk” enemies with crowbars, lead pipes, 2×4′s, fireplace pokers and even mannequin arms just to name a few. It’s completely brutal. All this and add a few guns in the mix and vuala, we have ourselves a complete arsenal of goodies to kill the baddies with. Not to mention our little CSI gadgets that we barely ever use. They weren’t all that great anyways so who cares?

I did see some problems with the maneuvering of your character though. I HATED… no no no… l-o-a-t-h-e-d the fact that he moved so effing slow 95% of the time. Now don’t completely ignore the ability to sprint… for all of five seconds before you tire and need to regenerate your stamina meter. It got ridiculous at times and I must say, it somewhat killed the game for me until I got used to it. I don’t know if it was created that way intentionally or what, but I felt it very unecessary to make your guy so slow. He’s not even fat or old! No excuses!

The use of health packs did mend my broken heart though. Health packs equal realism… kind of. This regenerating of health crap after ten seconds though is completely lame and I was very stoked to see that Condemned came equipt with a health bar and numerous health packs.

What’s Hot:

• A huge step forward for the horror genre in terms of originality and on the scare meter
• Some of the most realistic and brilliant AI I’ve ever seen
• The enviornmental sound really set the tone for a heart pounding experience
• A massive variety of weapons to use against old hobos and thriving drug addicts
• The best lighting in any game… ever

What’s Not:

• The character models didn’t hold a candle to the look of the enviornments
• Some of the voice acting seemed a little weak at times
• Very short game. Can run you to as little as five hours if you skip all the collectibles and exploration
• With no bonus features or additional content, there’s no real reason to go back and play through the game again

Final Verdict: As of late, the horror genre has been dying out. With mose developers focusing on shooters, us horror fans have been really let down and looking as to where we can get our next horror fix. Condemned: Criminal Origins, though not as good as the original Resident Evil, Dino Crisis or Dead Space, it is a pleasant experience if killing in the most gruesome fashion is your cup o’ tea. I must say that I really enjoyed the experience and would bet my corn flakes that you would too. Even if it isn’t your flavor, I’d still recommend it to fans of horror themed stuff as it will be a very nice piece to go with all your Lon Chaney and Boris Karloff memorabilia. Just make sure you have an extra pair of underwear before stepping into the dark and ruthless underworld of Condemned: Criminal Origins.